הקשת בפנים: The Rainbow Within

A Breath, a Holy Breath, breathed into me. I inhale. I wake. I stretch. I dress. I eat my muesli and I begin to walk my daily path….mind wondering…thoughts floating…arms folded… I weave through speeding cars and taxis each competing to succeed in achieving their personal agendas. I cross over the chaos and I breathe. My souls once again reach the natural earth of Jerusalem and transcend beyond the cement sidewalks and paved roads. The beaming sun pierces through the clouds and shines its bright rays, warming my cold fingers and comforting my transitioning soul. The strong wind ribbon dances with my scarf and flirts with my freshly shampooed curls. I turn around and glance back at the swiftly moving cars, rushing through the moments of the present. I wish I could push the emergency red button and make them all stop. Just slow down. Just breathe. Just be in it. This car race is all just a game, a routine, a dance. When will there be a chance to transcend the physical world. Where is the balance? Where is my balance?
I was sitting in ulpan (intensive Hebrew class) today unable to focus. My mind was detached and had expanded beyond the four walls which surrounded my physical body and I was gone. Not here nor there, just gone. I hear my “morah” (teacher) but I don’t really hear her. I catch words here and there, but most of the comprehension is drowned out by my frustration of not being able to communicate and express my thoughts and emotions fully and clearly. My interactions with individuals have been constricted to a first grade reading/grammar level and my inner stress is continually high as I find myself in situations in which I can’t answer simple questions like, “Would you like your meal… for here or to go?”… it’s another challenge, another opportunity to learn and to grow. A chance to practice transcendence and sanctity of mundane moments within this world and make them positive, make them into a blessing.
There is a divinity within all things, a light which can illuminate a mind a soul a people a world….the task is accessibility. How can we bring light into this world? When there is light there is always darkness…how can we find peace within the duality of existence? Can the light shine through? I pondered.
I shifted my focus from the doodles over scripted Hebrew words in my notebook to the window of the outside world. And I found my smile. A rainbow arching over east Jerusalem, which automatically initiated a mirrored response of arching expression on my face. A natural wonder, a reminder of covenant and divine creation. Often in the sky, there are clouds creating separation, blocking and filtering the suns bursting light rays; the sun, a flaming ball of light unable to express itself to its fullest potential is consequently inhibited from accessing this world…. but then a rainbow; a breakthrough of inner divine light, sweeps across the sky connecting and creating a fearless bridge between the worlds… a moment in which full expression of ones true colors is visible and accessible in its entirety. These moments of magical, glowing light arrive simultaneously with moments of happiness and love. Light is always accessible. Light shines between the souls of old friends as they embrace one another. Faces glow when met with unexpected ‘coincidental’ friendly encounters. Thoughts of love, friends getting married and upcoming chagim illuminate and excite the heart and mind. Light beams up towards the heavens when eyes lock for unknown explanations. Light pours out of the mouths of those singing harmonies which express inner emotions indescribable through words. The enormity of light that can be brought into this physical world is unfathomable. We are blessed with the gift of physical bodies as tools for creating spiritual illumination. Light will continue to shine through and there will always be a rainbow.

The Beauty of Grandeur

Wow… I live in Jerusalem… what a blessing. I have been in Israel for about one month now and I am alive, at peace, I can breathe. With each breath, I love and become vulnerable to the beauty of the holy city which surrounds my physical being and expands my soul. The depth behind each person and the unbelievable universal connectedness and consciousness is amazing, indescribable. Israel is such a unique diverse place yet I feel such a sense of belonging. I walk the streets of Yerushalyim and encounter people traveling from different corners of the earth expressing different fashion senses, different religious beliefs, different languages and different purposes for existence…yet we are all here in Israel, the Jewish State, adding love and power to the center of the world. I stand at a bus stop waiting for the 19 to take into town and I hear the rhythmic chants of the Muslim call to prayer. I watch a man’s soul be lured to attention as he immediately places his jacket on the cement sidewalk and begins to prostrate himself, showing devotion and love to G-d and prayer. I marvel at the young women, my age or younger, with their hair pulled back and covered, pushing strollers in which young children are buckled in and playing with their tiny toes and pondering about their purpose. The bellies of these women protrude with beauty and the knowledge that another all knowing Jewish child will soon enter this world and grow into a soul who will spend a lifetime adding to the fixing the shattered vessels. In the shuk (market) I see and old wrinkly man shuffle through Machneh Yehuda on a Friday afternoon dragging a wheely bag full of overflowing oranges and veggies that will be used on the Sabbath behind him. On the bus I see an old woman slouched over in her seat slobbering all over her fingers as she engulfs an entire sunflower seed in her mouth and maneuvers the seed out with her tongue just as an anteater would capture his supper. I stare at these older people with such amusment because I know they have a story, each of them their own story with their own paths and experiences. I know that the older woman on the bus with the skilled tongue not only can manipulate the seed from its shell but that that tongue probably knows several languages probably even Yiddish, the language of my grandparents, my ancestors, my history. Shalom… Shalom… is truly the harmony, the mantra that flows within my body everyday, every morning as the breath of life is breathed into me. I wake and inhale the fresh brisk winter air of Yerushalyim, smile and thank G-d. I am so happy to be here. To spend a marvelous semester in such a holy place. I look forward to my journeys and adventures.

In a more physical world…Overall… things are great! I live in a very small two bedroom apartment on campus (Har Tzofim) with three other girls in religious housing (Idelson Dormitory). It is definitely tight living quarters, but livable. Basically, we have two bedrooms with two of us in each room, a very small kitchen, a very tiny toilet room, a tiny shower room and a barely existent mirpeset (porch/balcony) not quite sukkah worthy but good for drying clothes. My roommates and I get along very well and we are all each on a religious journey of a sort, which is exciting. All three of my roommates are Israeli; which is such a great opportunity for me to practice my Hebrew! Two of them (Shanit & Oshrat) are best friends from the army. Shanit is from Haifa and Oshrat is from Kirat Shmoneh. My other roommate, who I literally share my room with, is named Frida. Frida was originally born in New Jersey but her parents made Aliyah when she was 2 years old, so she speaks perfect English which is helpful. She now lives in Rehovot and is actually family friends with my madricha from JLI (Ilana) who also lives in Rehovot…small world.

Class is good… I am in Ulpan right now, which is intensive Hebrew class. Basically, I have Hebrew every day except for Fridays and Saturdays from 8:30am- 2pm… it is hard but I am learning a lot. I start normal classes in about 3 weeks. I am taking a course called ‘Contemporary Spirituality in Israel and the US’ which I am so excited for! I have heard such great things about this professor (Eliezer Shore)… we will be reading great texts by Shlomo Carlebach, Aryeh Kaplan, Avraham Joshua Heschel, Arthur Waskow and other amazing scholars. Another class that I am taking is called ‘Readings of the Zohar’ which even the name sounds fantastic. I am also going to be taking a Jewish Education course in which 30 students meet weekly to discuss the problems within North American Jewish Education and how we can initiate change through formal and informal education. This class has a “hands-on component” which means each student is required to participate in an internship. I did some research and it looks like I will be interning (hopefully) for an organization named Derech HaTeva which is like and Orthodox Observant Outward Bound… totally excited for that! So that is pretty much a summary of what has gone on over the past month. So from now on my blogs will be more specific to unique experiences or personal thoughts. I hope you all are well… miss you much…

<3car

Adventures on Allenby

I went to Tel Aviv 4 times time this past week: First Time (1/29) - Girls טיול (trip) to Nachlat Benyamin, Tel Aviv’s weekly Art & Craft Fair….it was a good time although Sara, Alana and I stayed back at the hostel and slept through most of the טיול. Second Time (2/1) - Lunch with my dearest friend from camp, Tony Morris…he is moving to Australia for four months, this was our goodbye lunch until we see each other at camp again this summer. Third Time (2/4)- Dinner with Year Course kids (of course my love David Berlin), past/present camp Mishlachat, Sandra Bass and the rest of the CJ crew…great time, great food…can’t wait for camp this summer, Chalutzim 2009! The Fourth Time (2/5) Oy, the Fourth Time… what an adventure…let me tell you about it:
Weaving through people on the third floor of the Tachanah Merkazit (Central Bus Station) of Yerushalyim, my watched showed 17:59… I had one minute to get to my bus destined for Tel Aviv, a night of mayhem was waiting. I ran with my Irish coffee in hand to station 14 where I met my bearded companion (Joshua Lyle). I pushed my way through the line which oozed out of the accordion style bus doors. Bumping into large over packed duffel bags and even larger Israeli attitudes, I stepped onto the bus and handed the driver 20 shekels “Achat L’Tel Aviv Bevacasha” (One to Tel Aviv please) in my best Israeli accent …Ahh, what a sigh of relief I made it…I scanned the bus looking for a seat…כלום (nothing) not one seat open. Josh was pushed out of sight to the back of the bus and I was left in the center isle, towards the front. I looked at the bus driver expecting him to ask me to get off and wait for the next bus, but he looked back at me in his rearview mirror and said “Kol beseder, kol besder, ain ba’aya” (its all okay, its all okay, no problem) I was confused… but prepared to stand in the center isle of an old greyhound bus for the next hour and fifteen minutes as I ventured to Tel Aviv.
The bus began to move and I began to loose my balance, a few people giggled at the confused American girl (me... obviously) straddling the center isle and bracing myself between seat backs. I thought to myself, “Kol beseder, kol besder, ain ba’aya”. I looked around at all of the passengers on the bus… there were soldiers in uniform that I assumed were going home for Shabbat, a few Muslim women, a young couple sleeping head to shoulder, Arsim with their slicked back hair pondering about their upcoming night out on the town, a high tech Israeli kid with fashionable thick framed glasses held in place by top of the line Bose Head phones that were attached to his scratch-less laptop…what a diverse group.
The driver had a Celiene Dion CD playing in the background and I couldn’t help but laugh at the hilarity of the entire situation…Here I am… in Israel… on a bus to Tel Aviv that is outrageously over crowded….I am practically tumbling up and down the isles of a grey hound bus… accidentally stepping on toes and unintentionally pulling peoples hair as I attempted to brace myself and find my balance…. And Celion Dion has the nerve to scream at me loudly over the speakers about how she is my lady and I am her man and how when I reach out to her she will to all that she can…Oy Va Voy…what a scene! When I didn’t think the situation could get any funnier or awkward an older woman with a babushkah on her head starts tapping my tush and screaming at me in Hebrew. I had absolutely no idea what she was saying to me… I wasn’t sure if I offended her or maybe I stepped on her… no idea… so I ignored her but she continued to hit me… People were beginning to stare…I finally made out the words “אין מקום” (no place) and “פה יושבת” (sit here)…. She was insistent… suddenly she grabbed my torso and literally pulled me onto her lap… I was in shock I had no idea what to do… I was hysterical laughing inside but somewhat terrified on the outside… I had absolutely no idea what was going on. But through context clues I gathered that she wanted me to sit on her lap for the entire one hour and fifteen minute bus drive since I didn’t have a seat. So I gave in… and I sat on some unclaimed bubbies lap for the ENTIRE bus ride… oh man…I have no words to explain my emotion during this awkward seating arrangement….
When we arrived, the sketchy alleys we wandered were fairly quiet and the roads were still damp from the day’s earlier drizzle. We made our way to a hole in the wall bar featuring overly priced drinks and complimentary olives. Afterwards, we stumbled to a near by club that was having a Bob Marley tribute concert in honor of Bob Marley’s Birthday and the first black president in the US. We broke our way through a plastered wall of smoke, sipped chai tea and nibbled on chocolate balls that we were given to us by Zionist Rastafarians outside. We wandered through the sea of bobbing dredlocked heads and finally reached front and center stage. The concert didn’t start until 1:30am! But it was fantastic and such a blast! We danced and sang and danced and… “sang”…. all night long. We left at about 3:30am and eventually made it back to our hostel. In the morning Sara, Jacob and I woke up early and went out for a fantastic breakfast while Josh, Micah, Isaac and Zach stayed sleeping. We had Museli, cucumbers, tomatoes, tahini, fresh jam, shakshukah, fruit & milk smoothies, salad, cheese, bread… Yum! We then made our way to Nachlat Benyamin, the art fair that I mentioned before and checked out all of the cool chachskies people were selling… There was a dance troop from Ghana randomly breakin’ it down between Rehov (street) Allenby & Rehov Karmel before the Shabbat craziness started… I decided to hang around there for a bit and capture still moments within in the hectic movement of Tel Aviv city life via my digital camera … then, it was time to head back home to Yerushalyim to prepare for Shabbat Shira… but rather than taking a bus…this time we decided to take a shayrut (a taxi)…