Adventures on Allenby

I went to Tel Aviv 4 times time this past week: First Time (1/29) - Girls טיול (trip) to Nachlat Benyamin, Tel Aviv’s weekly Art & Craft Fair….it was a good time although Sara, Alana and I stayed back at the hostel and slept through most of the טיול. Second Time (2/1) - Lunch with my dearest friend from camp, Tony Morris…he is moving to Australia for four months, this was our goodbye lunch until we see each other at camp again this summer. Third Time (2/4)- Dinner with Year Course kids (of course my love David Berlin), past/present camp Mishlachat, Sandra Bass and the rest of the CJ crew…great time, great food…can’t wait for camp this summer, Chalutzim 2009! The Fourth Time (2/5) Oy, the Fourth Time… what an adventure…let me tell you about it:
Weaving through people on the third floor of the Tachanah Merkazit (Central Bus Station) of Yerushalyim, my watched showed 17:59… I had one minute to get to my bus destined for Tel Aviv, a night of mayhem was waiting. I ran with my Irish coffee in hand to station 14 where I met my bearded companion (Joshua Lyle). I pushed my way through the line which oozed out of the accordion style bus doors. Bumping into large over packed duffel bags and even larger Israeli attitudes, I stepped onto the bus and handed the driver 20 shekels “Achat L’Tel Aviv Bevacasha” (One to Tel Aviv please) in my best Israeli accent …Ahh, what a sigh of relief I made it…I scanned the bus looking for a seat…כלום (nothing) not one seat open. Josh was pushed out of sight to the back of the bus and I was left in the center isle, towards the front. I looked at the bus driver expecting him to ask me to get off and wait for the next bus, but he looked back at me in his rearview mirror and said “Kol beseder, kol besder, ain ba’aya” (its all okay, its all okay, no problem) I was confused… but prepared to stand in the center isle of an old greyhound bus for the next hour and fifteen minutes as I ventured to Tel Aviv.
The bus began to move and I began to loose my balance, a few people giggled at the confused American girl (me... obviously) straddling the center isle and bracing myself between seat backs. I thought to myself, “Kol beseder, kol besder, ain ba’aya”. I looked around at all of the passengers on the bus… there were soldiers in uniform that I assumed were going home for Shabbat, a few Muslim women, a young couple sleeping head to shoulder, Arsim with their slicked back hair pondering about their upcoming night out on the town, a high tech Israeli kid with fashionable thick framed glasses held in place by top of the line Bose Head phones that were attached to his scratch-less laptop…what a diverse group.
The driver had a Celiene Dion CD playing in the background and I couldn’t help but laugh at the hilarity of the entire situation…Here I am… in Israel… on a bus to Tel Aviv that is outrageously over crowded….I am practically tumbling up and down the isles of a grey hound bus… accidentally stepping on toes and unintentionally pulling peoples hair as I attempted to brace myself and find my balance…. And Celion Dion has the nerve to scream at me loudly over the speakers about how she is my lady and I am her man and how when I reach out to her she will to all that she can…Oy Va Voy…what a scene! When I didn’t think the situation could get any funnier or awkward an older woman with a babushkah on her head starts tapping my tush and screaming at me in Hebrew. I had absolutely no idea what she was saying to me… I wasn’t sure if I offended her or maybe I stepped on her… no idea… so I ignored her but she continued to hit me… People were beginning to stare…I finally made out the words “אין מקום” (no place) and “פה יושבת” (sit here)…. She was insistent… suddenly she grabbed my torso and literally pulled me onto her lap… I was in shock I had no idea what to do… I was hysterical laughing inside but somewhat terrified on the outside… I had absolutely no idea what was going on. But through context clues I gathered that she wanted me to sit on her lap for the entire one hour and fifteen minute bus drive since I didn’t have a seat. So I gave in… and I sat on some unclaimed bubbies lap for the ENTIRE bus ride… oh man…I have no words to explain my emotion during this awkward seating arrangement….
When we arrived, the sketchy alleys we wandered were fairly quiet and the roads were still damp from the day’s earlier drizzle. We made our way to a hole in the wall bar featuring overly priced drinks and complimentary olives. Afterwards, we stumbled to a near by club that was having a Bob Marley tribute concert in honor of Bob Marley’s Birthday and the first black president in the US. We broke our way through a plastered wall of smoke, sipped chai tea and nibbled on chocolate balls that we were given to us by Zionist Rastafarians outside. We wandered through the sea of bobbing dredlocked heads and finally reached front and center stage. The concert didn’t start until 1:30am! But it was fantastic and such a blast! We danced and sang and danced and… “sang”…. all night long. We left at about 3:30am and eventually made it back to our hostel. In the morning Sara, Jacob and I woke up early and went out for a fantastic breakfast while Josh, Micah, Isaac and Zach stayed sleeping. We had Museli, cucumbers, tomatoes, tahini, fresh jam, shakshukah, fruit & milk smoothies, salad, cheese, bread… Yum! We then made our way to Nachlat Benyamin, the art fair that I mentioned before and checked out all of the cool chachskies people were selling… There was a dance troop from Ghana randomly breakin’ it down between Rehov (street) Allenby & Rehov Karmel before the Shabbat craziness started… I decided to hang around there for a bit and capture still moments within in the hectic movement of Tel Aviv city life via my digital camera … then, it was time to head back home to Yerushalyim to prepare for Shabbat Shira… but rather than taking a bus…this time we decided to take a shayrut (a taxi)…