הקשת בפנים: The Rainbow Within

A Breath, a Holy Breath, breathed into me. I inhale. I wake. I stretch. I dress. I eat my muesli and I begin to walk my daily path….mind wondering…thoughts floating…arms folded… I weave through speeding cars and taxis each competing to succeed in achieving their personal agendas. I cross over the chaos and I breathe. My souls once again reach the natural earth of Jerusalem and transcend beyond the cement sidewalks and paved roads. The beaming sun pierces through the clouds and shines its bright rays, warming my cold fingers and comforting my transitioning soul. The strong wind ribbon dances with my scarf and flirts with my freshly shampooed curls. I turn around and glance back at the swiftly moving cars, rushing through the moments of the present. I wish I could push the emergency red button and make them all stop. Just slow down. Just breathe. Just be in it. This car race is all just a game, a routine, a dance. When will there be a chance to transcend the physical world. Where is the balance? Where is my balance?
I was sitting in ulpan (intensive Hebrew class) today unable to focus. My mind was detached and had expanded beyond the four walls which surrounded my physical body and I was gone. Not here nor there, just gone. I hear my “morah” (teacher) but I don’t really hear her. I catch words here and there, but most of the comprehension is drowned out by my frustration of not being able to communicate and express my thoughts and emotions fully and clearly. My interactions with individuals have been constricted to a first grade reading/grammar level and my inner stress is continually high as I find myself in situations in which I can’t answer simple questions like, “Would you like your meal… for here or to go?”… it’s another challenge, another opportunity to learn and to grow. A chance to practice transcendence and sanctity of mundane moments within this world and make them positive, make them into a blessing.
There is a divinity within all things, a light which can illuminate a mind a soul a people a world….the task is accessibility. How can we bring light into this world? When there is light there is always darkness…how can we find peace within the duality of existence? Can the light shine through? I pondered.
I shifted my focus from the doodles over scripted Hebrew words in my notebook to the window of the outside world. And I found my smile. A rainbow arching over east Jerusalem, which automatically initiated a mirrored response of arching expression on my face. A natural wonder, a reminder of covenant and divine creation. Often in the sky, there are clouds creating separation, blocking and filtering the suns bursting light rays; the sun, a flaming ball of light unable to express itself to its fullest potential is consequently inhibited from accessing this world…. but then a rainbow; a breakthrough of inner divine light, sweeps across the sky connecting and creating a fearless bridge between the worlds… a moment in which full expression of ones true colors is visible and accessible in its entirety. These moments of magical, glowing light arrive simultaneously with moments of happiness and love. Light is always accessible. Light shines between the souls of old friends as they embrace one another. Faces glow when met with unexpected ‘coincidental’ friendly encounters. Thoughts of love, friends getting married and upcoming chagim illuminate and excite the heart and mind. Light beams up towards the heavens when eyes lock for unknown explanations. Light pours out of the mouths of those singing harmonies which express inner emotions indescribable through words. The enormity of light that can be brought into this physical world is unfathomable. We are blessed with the gift of physical bodies as tools for creating spiritual illumination. Light will continue to shine through and there will always be a rainbow.